“You are who you think you are”… this is very true in every aspect of that statement. It is not difficult to see that we are often our biggest obstacle… not the problem itself… not the people around us… not fate… not destiny… In every situation (even in the worst), there is always a brighter side of things… a positive side that we can focus on…
So how do we move from a state of helplessness to a state of empowerment? How do we overcome those negative thoughts that are distracting you and keeping you from moving ahead? How do we overcome ourselves?
When something bad happens (and I can tell you.. bad things will ALWAYS happen), there are two ways that we can respond to it... react negatively to it… or react positively to it… We all know the consequence of our negative response and the need to respond positively. Then why it is easier said than done? Is responding positively really so difficult?
Honestly, there may be a million answers why humans respond negatively when they know that they shouldn’t. I’m sure I can write a quite an endless list of it but why would I want to do that? Do you see where I’m heading? I mean why spend good energy & efforts to try to measure something that will give you an undesirable outcome anyway? Isn’t that unproductive? Why don’t we focus on the positive thoughts? But how to do that when negative thoughts keep popping up before you? (familiar?)
Here’s how I do it. I saw a joke about a problem solving flowchart and I thought to myself that the answer could be in a simple flowchart below:-
Well, if you’re the sort that screams… “but… but”… GET REAL… GET DECISIVE… In life, there are not but’s.. I mean, seriously,… if you cannot solve the problem and nothing can be done about it, then dwelling on it or feeling lousy about it (till the cows come home) ain’t gonna help either. Discard those contemplating negative thoughts immediately before they consume you.
And if you’re the type that goes… “what if this”… “what if that”…. Try using “so what if” and “so what are you doing about it?” instead… For example:
“So what if I have cancer? What am I gonna do about it?”…
“So what if I’m a bankrupt? What am I gonna do about it?”…
“So what if I’m gonna die tomorrow? What am I gonna do about it?”…
You see, it is not “what if I’m gonna die tomorrow” that will matter… it is what you decide to do AFTER you make that statement “so what?”…
“So what if I’m gonna die tomorrow? I still have now till tomorrow to be happy?” THAT… my friends… is what makes the difference… Instead of sulking your way to your grave, won’t one be better off enjoying whatever one has left till then..
In this perspective, the problem don’t matter anymore. Since you cannot do anything to change the destination, you can always choose how you wanna get there, can’t you?
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